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Oya's Newsletter: "Roots & Wings"
March 2005: Volume 2, Issue 3.
Newsletter
Archive
Written &
Published by Philippa Kennealy, MD, MPH, CPCC
Contents
Ways
With Words - How to Produce the Results You
Desire
On Track:
The Three Questions that Create Daily Habits
Oya News
Recommended
Reading
for Clients on the Move Welcome
Note
Welcome
to new "Roots and Wings" readers this
month! I encourage your questions, feedback and
comments, to shape future newsletters for YOU.
Are you
accomplishing less than you believe you are
capable of?
"The
way we communicate with others and with
ourselves ultimately determines the quality of
our lives" says Tony Robbins.
It's true - our
language patterns influence our thinking, which
in turn influences our choices of actions, and
therefore our experiences.
So how do we
produce the experiences or results we'd love to
have?
It all begins
with our words. Words are symbols for people,
places, items, ideas, emotions, occurrences,
etc., that help us communicate within ourselves
and to the outside world. Our words have the
power to create our reality!
Once we choose
a new reality - to be twenty pounds lighter, to
be an inspiring leader, to quit smoking, to be a
great spouse - we must begin by paying attention
to our language patterns. For example, how often
do you catch yourself saying "I
hate...." or "I'm sick and tired
of....."? The power of these phrases is
that they keep linking us up to old negative
ideas that are reinforced to the point of
becoming calcified beliefs. "Hate"
links us to unpleasant experiences in the past,
and "sick and tired" links us to a
debilitated condition.
Labels are
shortcut responses to concepts, and they induce
a laziness in our critical thinking. When we
label something or someone, we are limiting our
interpretation to our beliefs or categorization
about a person or thing, rather than what makes
them unique and remarkable, and different from
ourselves. We say "He's a jerk" when
we really mean "he is behaving in a jerk
manner", and "she is a slob" for
"she isn't as neat and tidy as I like
people to be".
"What
we concentrate on, we tend to create".
Language has
power, so if we use words that promote positive
communication with ourselves and others, we
begin to create the reality we really want.
Practice some
of the following examples:
- Instead of
"I'll try" (wishy-washy, suggesting
an unsuccessful attempt), use "My
goal/objective/purpose/vision is
to....". This redirects the listener to
the specific intended result.
- Avoid general
statements, such as "He is
always....", "I'll need several/a
few/some ....". Be more specific.
For example: "The last three times I
spoke to him, he..." or "I'll need
15 by Friday afternoon". This cuts
miscommunication and creates clarity.
- Remove the
More/Less/Better's!
Instead of saying "I want to be more
assertive", say "I want to be an assertive
leader". Practice shifting from
"healthier/happier person" to
"healthy/happy person".
By changing "less
anxious/frustrated/stressed" to
"serene/peaceful/calm", you offer
your subconscious mind positive images to
reinforce new beliefs.
Set goals that avoid the vague word
"better". Instead of "better
job/parent/health", go for
"fabulous job/wonderful parent/radiant
health"! This allows you to create
specific action steps that will get you to
this optimal goal.
- No more
"hate"s!
How does "I love being served
immediately" sound compared to "I hate
waiting"? Or "I love
variety" versus "I hate
repetition"? Or (the parents' biggie),
"I love it when you ask
nicely", rather than "I hate
it when you whine"!
- Switch from
what you don't want to what you do
want.
This restructures your thinking and hence
the focus of your actions. You no longer
avoid what you don't want. Instead you
aim towards what you do want. Voila -
different results!
Because the subconscious mind is so concrete
and visual, it sees the image and loses the
subtlety of the "do" or the
"don't". For example, the mind
sees an image of "poor" with the
statement "I don't want to be
poor". It sees a very different image
with "I want to be rich".
- Eliminate
"failure".
"Failure" links us to negative experiences
in the past and focuses on improbability
rather than possibility. It becomes
"Why bother?" instead of
"I'll go for it!" A failure is
merely a lack of success in accomplishing a
goal. And for an optimist, it is a learning
lab. Optimists ask "How can I
achieve...?" instead "Why am I
unable to..?
There are many
more language red lights that hold up the flow
of our creative, productive and expansive
thoughts. By becoming aware of your words and
choosing wisely, you have the opportunity to
release the power of positive language patterns.
These and other
examples abound in Ronald A. Kaufman's book, Anatomy
of Success - I have synthesized some ideas
for you from what he describes as "the ultimate
system for achieving your personal and
professional goals".
If you want
help with developing positive language patterns
that reflect your true personal power, contact
me to set up a free 40-minute meeting.
On
Track: The Three Questions that Create Daily Habits
As
creatures of habit, we draw
comfort from our daily routines, be they that
first cup of coffee or the ten minutes of
reading in bed before sleeping. New habits are
hard to acquire but once in place, they become
deeply ingrained.
What
daily habits do you want to acquire?
Leaders
of organizations use the term "walk the
talk". This implies a shift from saying
they stand for something or that they are going
to become something, to actually making it
happen. If you observe good leaders, they
are people with many small, constructive daily
(or weekly) habits.
Yours
may be a large organization, a small business,
or simply a household full of busy lives, but
forward motion, that gets you to new places,
happens when you commit to the daily habits of
success.
- What
action(s), if done regularly, would make a
difference to your sense of accomplishment,
self-esteem or well-being?
- How
much daily/weekly time does each habit
require?
- How
can you remind yourself to "do"
the habit?
If
you practice the new behavior and keep checking
in with these three questions, you will be well
on your way to "walking your talk" and
building a solid foundation for meaningful
change.
Are
you interested in acquiring the habits of
success? For a free 40-minute coaching meeting, contact
me.
You
might notice new initials behind my name. I am
now a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach
(CPCC), with my certification recognized by our
highest professional body, the International
Coaching Federation (ICF).
Oya
is on the move - in partnership with a
wonderful executive coaching colleague, we
embark in March on an exciting 6-month
project for a new corporate client,
with coaching
for all the executives and development of the
rapidly-expanding team.
Recent
presentations
I have given include "Goal-Getters:
How to Set and Achieve Meaningful
Goals" and "Heartful Leadership™
- How
to Elicit High Employee Performance using
Coaching Skills".
If
your organization is sponsoring a special
event, please contact
me to give a presentation or a workshop,
so that I can make your event a
success.
The
Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell is a rare intelligent
book whose central tenet
is so lucidly expressed that you can describe it
at a social event without fumbling for words or
watching your listener's eyes glaze over.
It's about the magic that happens when an idea,
trend or social behavior catches on, tips over
and takes off like wildfire!
He is an
intriguing storyteller with a disparate array of
anecdotes. What makes the book stand out as more
than just an interesting collection of
researched tales is that he ponders
questions that are key in the mind of anyone hoping to have
an audience for his or her message or product:
"What does it take for my
idea/gizmo/behavioral change/corporate culture
change to spread throughout my intended market?"
"What is likely to contribute to its
Tipping Point?"
With my passion
for showing up as Oya (remember -she is the
African Goddess of Change and Transformation!)
in the change process so needed in healthcare,
they are questions I am pondering with great interest
and attention.
Please
forward this newsletter to a client, friend,
relative or acquaintance that might enjoy
reading it.
Philippa Kennealy MD MPH CPCC
The Vision Realization Process™
President, Oya Consulting
Dr. Philippa Kennealy is an Executive and
Personal Coach, dedicated to your professional
and personal success and fulfillment. To
schedule an initial FR*EE consultation, to learn
more, or to inquire about having her speak to
your group or organization, contact her at:
pkennealy@oyaconsulting.com or
click here.
SHARE THE WEALTH
If you enjoy this newsletter and want others to
benefit, please forward this copy to family,
friends or colleagues. I truly appreciate your
loyalty and interest.
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