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Oya's Newsletter: "Roots & Wings"

June 2005: Volume 2, Issue 6.

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Written & Published by Philippa Kennealy, MD, MPH, CPCC

Contents

Wouldn't you love to be persuasive, without being obnoxious?
Oya News
Recommended Reading for Clients on the Move

Welcome Note

Welcome to all the new "Roots and Wings" readers this month! Thank you to those who have shared this resource with colleagues and friends.

Wouldn't you love to be persuasive, without being obnoxious?

Don't you hate pushy salespeople?

I certainly do, and I have come to admire those who can persuade me to act or change my behavior without irritating me. The really good advertising specialists and salespeople have mastered the secrets of powerful persuasion that induce us to buy what we don't even need!

Here are Top Five Secrets to Successful Persuasion that they use with great skill, and that will apply whether you are leading an organization, selling a product or service or raising a child!

1. Create indebtedness:

Ever wonder about those "f*ree samples" or bonuses? Lots of studies have shown that, by giving away something without asking for a specific favor in return, you create a sense of indebtedness in the receiver. This is a natural human response.

Not only does the receiver usually reciprocate, but he or she tends to return the favor with an action of greater significance, such as a purchase, a willingness to contribute time to a committee, a good business referral.

Give something away whenever possible.

It need not be of high monetary value. A reference to a relevant book or website, a copy of a useful article, a pizza party for your team or staff, a one-on-one mentoring session - all of these "gifts" engender the desire to reciprocate in some way

2. Allow the person to believe (s)he came up with it!

If people believe they have chosen to take an action without external pressure, they tend to accept responsibility for the results.

By offering large rewards for taking certain actions, you may get people to act or change, but you are unlikely to get their ongoing commitment once the reward has been received and "used up". You'll just get temporary compliance. The same is true of threats.

If you ask something of someone and give a legitimate, believable, simple reason for why an action should be taken or avoided ("because..."), that person is more likely to take inner responsibility for the outcome.

Avoid relying on rewards and threats to change behavior. Instead, provide non-manipulative, simple "because" reasons why to take or to avoid an action.

3. Make a concession

When you turn down someone's request and they accept it gracefully, don't you feel relieved? When they then make a much smaller request of you, you tend to feel obligated to make your own concession, and accept the smaller offer, even if you were not planning to.

Recall all the solicitation calls you receive asking for large donations! When you are asked to make a $500 donation for tickets to a dinner and the caller politely accepts your "no", don't you feel more inclined to give something when he then asks "How would it be if you just donated $25 instead?"

If you want someone to act or change, make a big request. If they refuse you, concede politely, and then make your realistic, much smaller request and see what happens! This works with kids too!

4. Understand the "Consistency Principle'

Have you noticed that, once you've made a decision, you tend to reinforce and justify your decision? This happens because you want to avoid the agony of second-guessing your motives or having troubling realizations.

As a society, we value consistency and frown upon indecisiveness and "flip-flopping" (remember that?).

If you can get someone to agree to an action, he or she tends to follow through, particularly if the agreement is in writing. Their desire to be consistent and stay true to their word creates this commitment.

Once someone agrees to an action, have them write it down to strengthen their commitment.

5. Get active commitment

When you make a commitment to an action or a purchase, you are assaulted by two major forces.
From the inside, you try to align your self-image with your action ("I really am a generous person").
From the outside, you adjust your self-image to reflect what others believe about us ("They think I am generous, so I am going to act generously").

As another example, if you decide that you are environmentally conscious, you will tend to take actions that fit the image, like recycling, buying a hybrid vehicle and avoiding littering. If others believe you are environmentally conscious, you will be meticulous about taking those steps that reinforce your image.

Once you have someone's commitment to your request, publicize their commitment in a way that sheds a positive glow on them, and acknowledges them for making the commitment.

Then use the glow and energy they are feeling to have them create, with you, the action steps to get the results you want.

These 5 secrets are adapted from "Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion" by Robert B. Cialdini.

Oya News

At the almost mid-year mark, I have encountered both loss and abundance. As I write, I am returning from my father's funeral in South Africa - a deep personal loss. In the days leading up to the sudden news, I was rejoicing at the exciting new coaching, team development and speaking opportunities that came knocking to fill my summer.
I am reminded of the transient nature of happiness and sorrow and how, so often, they walk hand-in-hand.

On Wednesday June 29th 2005 at 8:00 PM Eastern time, I shall be giving a complimentary teleclass on "The Three Indispensable Keys to Being a Masterful Influencer".
This class is for you if you are in a leadership position, need to influence others over whom you have no authority, or manage a team or office staff.
For more details and to register, click here.

If your organization is sponsoring a special event and wants a lively provocative and entertaining speaker, please contact me, so that I can make your event a success.