|
Oya's Newsletter: "Roots & Wings"
November 2005: Volume 2, Issue 9.
Newsletter
Archive
Written &
Published by Philippa Kennealy, MD, MPH, CPCC
Contents
Top Ten Traits of
Effective Feedback
Oya News
Recommended
Reading
for Clients on the Move Welcome
Note
Welcome
to our new "Roots and Wings" readers. And thank you to those who have shared this resource with
your colleagues and friends.
Top Ten Traits of
Effective Feedback
What's it like to
have a boss, a peer or a spouse bark some snide
or unflattering comment at you, in response to
something you have done?
I bet it puts you
in a bad mood for a while!
We are all in a
position to provide, and accept, feedback
multiple times a day. This is part of the normal
give-and-take of interpersonal communication.
Imagine if we
could shape the results we want by reacting and
responding to others in ways that enlighten
them, leave their self-esteem needs intact, and
permit us to tell courageous truths!
This can be done
with great effectiveness, by following a few
guidelines.
The
top ten traits of effective feedback are:
-
It is timely – don’t separate the
feedback too far from the event,
otherwise it loses its impact.
-
It is consistent – give feedback,
both positive and negative, at regular
rather than sporadic intervals.
-
It is specific – don’t point out
all the person’s deficiencies
when you are providing feedback about a
specific situation.
-
It is descriptive, not
evaluative. Describe your observations
and LEAVE OUT your interpretations and
judgments. Say: “I notice that you have
missed the last three meetings- what’s
that all about?” and avoid saying “You
don’t seem to care about the project
because……..”.
-
It avoids emotional “digs” – when
you are angry, it is tempting to use
biting sarcasm or nasty comments. Don't!
-
It is directed at the behaviors or
results, not at the person.
-
It shows empathy – try to put
yourself in the other person’s shoes and
understand their feelings (ask powerful
questions such as “I imagine hearing
this might be tough for you. How's this
making you feel?”)
-
It is candid without being
brutal. You can be very candid if
you stick to sharing observations,
directing your feedback at the behaviors
you have noted, and demonstrating
empathy.
-
It is appropriate
– make
the feedback appropriate to the
situation and avoid exaggeration or
generalization.
-
It is
meaningful -
make your feedback useful to the person
receiving it. Clarify your expectations
and make your requests very clear, to
avoid any misunderstandings. Don’t make
the other person read your mind!
As you can
guess from the above, these guidelines work for
all the people in our lives - except perhaps in
cases of severe adolescence.
Oya
News
October has been a steady and very busy month,
with no signs of slowing down before the end of
the year. I've recently added several new
clients who are excited, and apprehensive about
new challenges they are opting to take on
professionally.
I
continue to admire those people who can set
aside their fears, self-doubts and apathy, to
embark on long-cherished journeys towards deeper
professional, and often personal, fulfillment.
They make the most wonderfully rewarding
clients!
If
you are looking ahead and anticipating a New
Year that excites, beckons and dares you, please contact
me,
for a complimentary 40-minute coaching
consultation, to see if we would make a
formidable "success" team.
I finally read it!!
I have had
Blink,
by Malcolm Gladwell, sitting for many months in a pile of to-be-read
books. I was able to settle in to catch up on
some reading a couple of
weeks ago while on vacation, and first on my
list was "Blink".
As in
The Tipping Point, Gladwell weaves a series
of diverse and spell-binding tales around
provocative questions such as:
How do we make snap decisions that can be
unerringly correct? Or incorrect?
How do our brains work to permit us to interpret
our worlds in the "blink of an eye", before our
thoughts register consciously?
How can we make successful decisions by
balancing this instinctive thinking with
conscious deliberation?
If you are
intrigued by the mix of Grecian statues, facial
micro-expressions that tell all, a top notch car
salesman, army games and cops in the Bronx, this
book is for you.
Please
forward this newsletter to a client, friend,
relative or acquaintance that might enjoy
reading it.
Philippa Kennealy MD MPH CPCC
The Vision Realization Process™
President, Oya Consulting
Dr. Philippa Kennealy is an Executive and
Professional Coach and Professional Speaker, dedicated to your professional
and personal success and fulfillment. To
schedule an initial FR*EE consultation, to learn
more, or to inquire about having her speak to
your group or organization, contact her at:
pkennealy@oyaconsulting.com or
click here.
SHARE THE WEALTH
If you enjoy this newsletter and want others to
benefit, please forward this copy to family,
friends or colleagues. I truly appreciate your
loyalty and interest.
back to top |
